Remember Why You Started

By Kaydene Green

Hey you! yes… you. The one who has launched out into a new adventure filled with optimism for a future drenched in passion for living on purpose. The one who wants to rewrite history, creating new traditions, breaking generational strongholds and releasing yourself from the shackles of past mistakes.

It is you that I am talking to.

The one who realizes that this new journey is easily as scary as it is exciting and who has heard that “if your dreams don’t scare you they aren’t big enough“. The one who stepped out of your comfort zone to seek out something greater than that of yourself to tread the path that leads to places you’ve never been before, doing things you’ve never done with talents you did not even know you possessed.

Is it you that I am talking to?

May I take a few minutes of your time to give you some words of encouragement? I know, you may feel alone, unclear and doubtful and words may never be good enough. The journey to fulfilling calling and reaching new milestones can be a scary one, but many have trod this route before and are living to tell the tale.

Too often, all we see are the glorified triumphs, the ripened fruits weighing heavy on fragile looking yet sturdy branches and the perfectly patterned fluttering butterflies who were possibly still only just a caterpillar yesterday.

But what about the parts before the triumphant endings? What about the tears, the fears, the sleepless nights, the heartbreaks, and the discomfort that seems like a lifelong companion along the journey? Can we find comfort in the dark places? Can we reflect and ponder and feel every bit of it and speak life and light into the uncomfortable places?

Can we talk about the struggles you may or have been facing on this new journey?

The Obstacles

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

Whether it is a new years resolution of going to the gym consistently, saving money, purchasing a new home or writing a book, starting could be argued as much easier to do than bringing the project to completion. As 2022 fast approaches, so are the long lists of resolutions. Seldom do we plan the survival strategies for the bumps ahead that will make every attempt to throw us off course.

Let’s dive into some of the obstacles you may face on your newly sought after journey and what to remember while you are experiencing them:

1. The lack of support and encouragement

You may come to a harsh realization that not everyone will find interest in your new pursuits and many of them will be people you thought cared about you. They probably do but not in the way you expect them to. You may even find yourself begging for the kind of support you expected should have been given freely. You will find that your only option to keep you moving, is to become your own cheerleader. If you are a Christian, please do not forget that the Holy Spirit is with you to help you in ALL you do. There is no greater cheerleader and support than that.

2. Realizing who is NOT in your corner

The lack of feedback will be your guide for this one. People may even start acting differently around you and towards you. If this is the case, we can’t even begin to image what they are probably saying behind our backs. It is some of the people you hoped you could rely on that probably will not be in your corner and it may be the people who you least expect that will appreciate what you are doing. This is where you will understand the concept of knowing who your tribe is. Still be as graceful and as forgiving as you possibly can, no matter what your emotions tell you what to do.

3. Lack of vision

Some days you will struggle to know what your next move is. You may find yourself asking the question “what do I do next?” more often than not. You may even end up being stuck here for awhile.

Ever heard the quote about not seeing the whole stairway before taking the steps? This is not quite the thing for control freaks, but I do believe some things are out of our control and for those things, I rely on God who already knows what the future holds. Someone asked me once, “how do you come up with the topics for your blog?” in which I responded, “I just think of what I am struggling with in the moment and ask God what does He want me to learn in the midst of this storm and the rest is history.”

4. Self doubt

You may feel like you are terrible at this new task. Give yourself some grace and adjust your self-talk to speaking life and positivity. Remember, you have to become your own cheerleader. With experience you will become proficient and better with each new day. Remember, we learn to walk before we are ever able to run.

5. Fear

When I had reached about 9 months in the transition of my natural hair journey, I was ready to do the “big chop”. It was scary to think that I was not going to be able to put my hair in a ponytail for the first time in my life. I was filled with fear and it was only just hair. I was once told “the only thing to fear is fear itself.” Fear is crippling. Fear is not from our all powerful creator so it is important not to entertain it. By His power we can live boldly and in the confidence that He has created us for good works and even if it is not exactly what we had set out to pursue, He will guide us in the direction He wants us to go. Also, do not live in the fear that others have right you off from being qualified for this. People will remember your mistakes and try to keep your capabilities hostage to your past. Let them. You cannot control what they do, but you can control where you maintain your gaze. Keep pressing ahead.

6. Lack of Motivation

Self-governance does not seem important until it needs to be. It is already bad enough that the area of encouragement is low. You will have to dig deep on most days to find the strength and couragement to continue. Remembering why you started will help you with this one. Take a mental break if you need to.

My friend John says, “When you find yourself up against an obstacle, keep pushing and use it as an experience to learn and grow.


People will make an attempt to tell you why what you are aiming for is useless. Let them. Tell them you appreciate the feedback and continue on your journey. Not everyone will understanding your calling because it is not theirs to understand. It is yours to stay faithful to. Keep pressing.

8. Success Does Not Happen Overnight

This is major. Please remember this when nothing seems to be happening. Don’t lose hope. Persistence is key. That was one of the best advices I ever received.

Dennis (a fitness advocate and friend) says, “To build muscle, you need resistance. Muscles are built when they are stretched, torn and healed.”

Know Your Why

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At the beginning of any new journey you must keep at the forefront of your mind why you started. Many companies have vision statement(s) painted mostly at the employee entrance for a reason. Many people may be motivated mainly about paying the bills, but to feel like you are apart of something greater may could increase to vigor to give it your all no matter how difficult the task may be.

“Make your vision so clear that your fears become irrelevant”

– Kerwin Rae

As for me, starting a blog and posting it to social media was nerve wracking. Left up to me, I would have kept it in the dark. But I had to remember why I started:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in ALL you do, and He will show you which path to take”

Proverbs 3: 5-6

A Bit of Motivation – Why you started

I hope you find this video as motivating as I have. Go ahead, take the first step to doing something new. You do not have to have it all figured out now and you do not have to be great at it from the very start. If it does not take you to where you thought it would, it will still take you somewhere, in a different spot than the one you are standing in right now. Be encouraged until next time. Have a blessed week.

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Last Updated: December 10, 2021

Stay In Which Lane?

By Kaydene Green

My Mistake

A few minutes after driving off the DMV parking lot after officially passing my Florida driver’s license exam, I almost got into a car accident that would have been entirely my fault. What made it even worse was the fact that the car I was driving was not even mine. I almost failed myself and the person behind me, (not to mention the owner of the car), by switching lanes without taking the necessary steps to ensure that the lane I wanted to reposition myself into was clear for me to merge into. I made an impulsive decision out of fear of missing my fast approaching left turn because I was still heavily relying on a gps at the time to guide my trips every step of the way.

Photo by Artem Podrez

The irony of the ‘close call’ was that prior to doing the exam, I received an advice that still echoes loud in my mind after hearing it so many years ago. The advice was that, “switching lanes is one of, if not, the biggest cause of motor vehicle accidents so be careful to check your blind spot before you move over into another lane“.

I am almost certain that with all the new technological advancements in our world today, distracted driving may now have topped that list. But, that is still beside the point. I did not listen well or somehow had forgotten the advice and failed to take the proper “lane changing” precautions and found myself mindlessly merging into a lane I did not belong in.

Shaken up and embarrassed after receiving the disapproving deafening horn honk from the disgruntled driver on the left back side of my miscalculated decision, I nervously made an attempt to apologize for the almost catastrophic event by leaning out of the driver’s window with surrendered hands and an apologetic posture. Unfortunately for me, she was not having any of it and made it clear with rolled eyes and the lack of eye contact that my attempt of an apology was not welcomed. Ouch!

Photo by Liza Summer

At that point there was nothing else I could have done. I had almost ruined both of our morning. Obviously, in her mind it seemed, there was nothing I could have said that would have justified the “stupid” decision I made. So, like a dog with a crushed spirit walking off with it’s tail tucked away, I rolled my window up and humbly and carefully made my way back home.

Between the high of the celebration, the anxiety of missing my turn and my overly confident desire to change lanes, the complacency of not checking my blind spot almost became the cloud on a beautiful sunny day. All because I was moving into a lane I had no business in at the time.

Photo by Craig Adderley

Stay In Your Lane

While we are on the topic of changing lanes, I’d like to share the information that Florida law requires you to Move Over a lane — when you can safely do so — for stopped law enforcement, emergency, sanitation, utility service vehicles and tow trucks or wreckers.

“Sweep in front of your own door”

German Proverb

Often times when we hear the words “stay in your lane“, it is usually in reference to the command of minding your own business. It can be quite the irritant (to me), when others meddle in matters that does not concern them. Maybe you’ve been the one to do the meddling. As for me, If I am not careful about my own approach on this topic, I get so caught up in minding my own business that I forget to ask the right questions for the sake of becoming enlightened.

Like the Florida law makes clear, there are times when moving over into a lane other than the one you are in, is unapologetically warranted. This is not something we put into perspective as it pertains to people getting into the details of our business. It feels more like a nuisance to be asked personal questions or to be put into a position to have to think about things you had no intentions of being concerned with. Context should be taken into consideration however.

What is the purpose and the intention of someone slithering their way out of their lane into mine? Is it to gain information so they can discuss it behind my back with others who does not, by the slightest, wish that I succeed? Or is it to find out enough to get to know me to offer support or a helping hand? Our own hard wired worldviews may determine the answers to these questions unless of course you have chosen the route of learning the facts about the people in question.

It Is Ok To Step Out of Your Lane

Photo by Toa Heftiba u015einca

Galatians 6:2 encourages us to share each others’ burdens and I do not see how we can accomplish this without stepping out of our own situation and circumstance, even for a short time, to selflessly focus on the concerns of others to uplift them in the way that is best suited for their specific need. This sounds like switching lanes to me, but only when the time is right and when the attempt is to benefit other drivers on the road. With self serving intentions, we may find ourselves in lanes we have no business in that proves to be very harmful for all involved.

When choosing to change lanes or to work our way into a situation that has absolutely nothing to do with us, it is a good idea to remember that our intrusion is only meaningful when the purpose is to uplift others or to expand our understanding of a situation in order to handle it better for the benefit of everyone involved. That is my personal conviction of a new perspective.

Your Lane, Your Unique Journey

Photo by nappy

Another way we can look at the topic of staying in our lanes, is to remember that we all have our own race to run with the unique talents we were gifted. I’ve learned one important element of running my own race is to maintain my gaze on my own actions within my assigned lane. To explain this better, I’ve linked a video below that has within it excellent encouragement on how to “stay in your lane”. I’ve found the advice quite useful and you may too.

Whether we are mindlessly wondering in someone else’s business for selfish reasons, being distracted by the journey of the people around us or seeking knowledge in understanding how to be the support system others need, staying in your lane should be considered within it’s appropriate context.

Were you ever told to stay in your lane? What does it mean to you? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Don’t forget to subscribe for new content as soon as they are released. Until next time, have a blessed week.

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